I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
