so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
