I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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