It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
