Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
