Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
