i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
