it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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