Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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