i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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