I accidentally had phone sex last night
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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