He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Ketchup is God's man juice
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
