We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
