so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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