he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
