no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
