Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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