i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
