i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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