I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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