whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
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