Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
