i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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