So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
