So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
