my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I believe in your delicious
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
