You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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