What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
