school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
