I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
