theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
