What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize