why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
