He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize