We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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