got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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