don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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