hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
