I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
