Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
