Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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