In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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