she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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