Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
