Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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