dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
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