phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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