i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
