guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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