dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
