the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
