I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
