I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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