Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
