Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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