Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
