The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
