Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
don't judge my taste in strippers
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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