We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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