why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
