NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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