i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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