i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I hope mine doesn't look like that
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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