He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
