Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry neonturtle hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(775): View more from Nevada

just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.

Fav 7 1807 921
share tweet
(203): View more from Connecticut

So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.

Fav 10 5378 1135
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(904): View more from Florida

the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm

Fav 10 2663 1289
share tweet
(541): View more from Oregon

I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.

Fav 11 2117 949
share tweet
(916): View more from California

I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�

Fav 7 1125 840
share tweet
(512): View more from Texas

You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.

Fav 1 1393 692
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(720): View more from Colorado

His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.

(1-720): View more from Colorado

I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.

Fav 23 2045 882
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(602): View more from Arizona

All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.

(1-602): View more from Arizona

Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.

Fav 0 65 25
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(701): View more from North Dakota

eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?

Fav 0 124 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT