the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
