Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
