I love black thongs
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
