You're earring is so big in my mouth
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
