I'm so fucking centered right now
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You were trust falling into bushes
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
